ALWAYS JACKED

Parenting three young boys is not quiet work.

This is about as much a complaint you'll find here. My kids aren't old enough to defend themselves from my bitching about being a parent. So I don't complain much about that here. But there's honesty, about being a dad. About what they teach me. And the things I want them to know, when they're old enough to be on their own.

Letter to the Boys: Why This Cubs’ Season is a Big Fucking Deal

October 25, 2016 • 2 Comments

Jack, Reid and Cal, You’re really young. There are a LOT of things you don’t understand. Why school matters. Why you can’t have your own YouTube channel. Why Donald Trump is a Presidential candidate. As your dad, I try to explain these things to you, as best I can. I don’t always do a super-hot job. But I try. And I’m going…

Letter to the Boys: What #morethanmean Teaches You About Being a Man

April 27, 2016 • 4 Comments

If manhood was a business, then our stock took a pretty big hit this week. The podcast Just Not Sports asked a bunch of men to read tweets that female sportswriters get. There was nothing funny here. But it is educational.

An Open Letter to Donald Trump, on Behalf of My Three Sons

March 1, 2016 • 3 Comments

We live in strange times. Who would have thought that a businessman turned reality show star would have a shot at becoming President of the United States? Not most people! You’ve been written off as a candidate almost from the jump. We also live in a world where people think Batman can beat Superman in a fight. Preposterous, right? Makes…

Thirteen Things To Tell Your Kids When Your Elf on the Shelf Gets Hurt

December 4, 2015 • 2 Comments

The other day, I perched our elf on the arm (?) of a light fixture in our dining room. We had the light on for a while that night. Zart must have liked the warmth and leaned in, because when I went to hide him the next morning, he looked like a burn victim.

What Elon Musk Tells Us About Working Fathers

May 15, 2015 • 5 Comments

Whatever the current state of fatherhood, the pressures and expectations for male behavior remain relatively unchanged.

Seven Things That Suck About Babies

April 10, 2015 • 2 Comments

Our youngest is eighteen months, right on the edge of babyhood. As much as there is to love about the baby years, there are things I will not miss.

Letters to Jack: On Turning Six

April 3, 2015 • 10 Comments

I think you had a pretty good sixth birthday. You lost a tooth. You went snorkeling. You pet a shark.

You have suddenly become a boy. When did this happen?

A Conversation With My Blog

January 9, 2015 • 3 Comments

In which I reintroduce you to the blog by reintroducing myself to the blog. It’s all very meta.

My Sons Love Porn and I’m Fine With It

September 12, 2014 • 9 Comments

One video, found accidentally, during screen time. The two of them were hooked almost immediately. Now it’s all they watch.

Letter to Jack: On Starting Kindergarten

August 26, 2014 • 0 Comments

There are all kinds of things I could tell you about today because they’re the things all parents feel when their first child starts kindergarten. But those things are more about me than you. So I won’t.

Letter to the Boys: About Robin Williams, depression and suicide

August 12, 2014 • 4 Comments

The tragedy of Robin Williams isn’t just his act of suicide. But it’s the pain that must have led up to it.

A Parade of Buttheads

June 25, 2014 • 2 Comments

Our middle has found a word to drop into heavy rotation. That word is ‘butthead.’

Letter to the Boys: Don’t Be Men. Be People.

June 13, 2014 • 3 Comments

I have been blessed with you three boys. If I have a mission statement as a parent, it’s this: raise good people. Maybe it’s apologetic or too politically-correct by half to say that. Why wouldn’t I want to raise good men?