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Thirteen Things To Tell Your Kids When Your Elf on the Shelf Gets Hurt

The other day, I perched our elf on the arm (?) of a light fixture in our dining room. We had the light on for a while that night. Zart must have liked the warmth and leaned in, because when I went to hide him the next morning, he looked like a burn victim.

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What Elon Musk Tells Us About Working Fathers

Whatever the current state of fatherhood, the pressures and expectations for male behavior remain relatively unchanged.

I still don't know what was wrong.

Seven Things That Suck About Babies

Our youngest is eighteen months, right on the edge of babyhood. As much as there is to love about the baby years, there are things I will not miss.

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Letters to Jack: On Turning Six

I think you had a pretty good sixth birthday. You lost a tooth. You went snorkeling. You pet a shark.

You have suddenly become a boy. When did this happen?

I think it is mocking me.

A Conversation With My Blog

In which I reintroduce you to the blog by reintroducing myself to the blog. It’s all very meta.

"Dad, how do I turn the browser settings private?"

My Sons Love Porn and I’m Fine With It

One video, found accidentally, during screen time. The two of them were hooked almost immediately. Now it’s all they watch.

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Letter to Jack: On Starting Kindergarten

There are all kinds of things I could tell you about today because they’re the things all parents feel when their first child starts kindergarten. But those things are more about me than you. So I won’t.

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Letter to the Boys: About Robin Williams, depression and suicide

The tragedy of Robin Williams isn’t just his act of suicide. But it’s the pain that must have led up to it.

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A Parade of Buttheads

Our middle has found a word to drop into heavy rotation. That word is ‘butthead.’