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Aug
27

100 Words or Less About Love

One of the things I’m starting to do a bit more is “meet” other moms and dads who blog. As it’s called social media for a reason, I’m going to start sharing more about that community here.

The blog Dad at the Chalkboard issued a writing challenge this week, to write 100 non-fiction words inspired by a word he supplied. This week was love. Below are my 93 words. Check his blog this week to see what other moms and dads had to say.

I knew love when I rode a bike for the first time.

I knew love when I played baseball and my team made the playoffs.

I knew love when I acted in a school play.

I knew love sitting on the floor of a bookstore, reading while my mother shopped.

I knew love the first time I heard The Replacements and The Smiths.

I knew love when I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark 11 times in the theater.

I got married and had a son.

And realized I didn’t know love until then.

Aug
25

Insane in the Train

Jack is starting to really like things. Not the way adults like things. By clicking on a button so that our likes populate our stream.

His likes are ferocious. The wife described it pretty well in a status update last week.

Jack’s reaction to the train exhibit at the Botanic Gardens today was like an 11 year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert. There were screams AND tears of excitement. Seriously, I thought he was going to hop the fence and take a bath in them.

The “taking a bath in them” is because he picked up these small toy trains and started … rubbing them … on himself, one of those things that sounds dirty but isn’t, at least not yet. He was so happy and loved those trains so much that he wanted to injest them. My son, the Aztec warrior.

I could write any number of posts about how I hate the things I miss during the week. I’ll just leave it at I wanted to do something train-related with him, too. So on Saturday, we took him to Old Orchard mall. They not only have a Barnes and Noble, which sports an elaborate Thomas and Friends set-up in the kids’ book section, but this small steam engine that gives kids rides around a plaza near Nordstrom.

It’s a cliche to say that people light up when they’re excited, but the kid was Vegas at night. If we let him, he would have slept at that Barnes and Noble. (We didn’t.) When we finished our ride on the pseudo steam engine, he kind of wandered, groaning and pointing at the train.

Since only about 12 people will read this, I can admit. Seeing him so deleriously happy, so out of his mind excited, choked me up a little. Almost all of what I felt in that moment was caused by fierce love for this boy. But a tiny little sliver was a question, forming in my heart.

When was the last time I was even this close to excited about anything?

I was still thinking about it that night. The wife and I went to dinner, then went to a bar to see a friend’s band play. The band is Gaberdine. Keep an ear out. They’re going to be huge. Or at least, they should be.

When my friend took the stage, it struck me what a set of circumstances must have led to that moment. How he followed a passion to this point in his life. How he was brave enough to play the kind of music that was important and personal to him in front of a group of people.

Maybe he doesn’t feel the kind of insane excitement to strap on a guitar that he once did. Maybe as adults, we can’t. Experience and familiarity might make that physically impossible.

Jack won’t love trains like this forever. Or anything else he’s attached to now. But I hope he keeps a some of that joy. And I hope I never do anything to dampen it.

Aug
19

Scott Pilgrim vs. His Parents

On Monday night, I went and saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Good thing I did. It didn’t do well at the box office over the weekend, so it probably will be out of theaters by the time you finish reading this. Which is too bad. Because it rocks.

It’s based on a series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O’Malley that are funny, earnest and young. In the movie, he meets Ramona Flowers, quite literally the girl of his dreams, while he’s kind of dating Knives Chau. He starts going out with Ramona, breaks up with Knives, and is forced into battle the League of Evil Exes, seven of Ramona’s former significant others. Along the way, he learns stuff and stuff.

Coming-of-age movies aren’t new. Rebel Without a Cause. Sixteen Candles. Karate Kid. American Pie. This one is different. For one, it’s incredibly visually inventive. Scott’s life is a mash-up of all things youth culture. Things that happen in video games happen to Scott. When he defeats an Evil Ex, the Ex turns into a pile of coins.

But his problems. They aren’t new. He doesn’t have a job. He has to find a new place to live. He has girl trouble. He’s uncomfortable with the dating history of his girl friend. (Granted, her dating history has super powers and is trying to kill him, so he has more reason than most.)

What was new, to me, was the total absence of parents. The closest reference to a parent is Scott’s band, Sex Bob-omb, which sounds kind of like ‘mom”. Scott doesn’t turn to his folks for help. He doesn’t think back to lessons they taught him. He doesn’t blame them for his poor decisions or bad choices or his problems. (Which is all anyone did in my favorite teen movie, The Breakfast Club.)

On the one hand, this could be a slam on the State of Parenting Now. That adults are so consumed in their own lives and careers that they don’t stay connected to their kids. Or that kids find their parents completely, hopelessly out – of – touch with the world and couldn’t POSSIBLY understand the complexity of their lives. (Nothing new there, either.)

But there’s another side to this evil-ex-turned-into-a-coin. Maybe Scott is someone who got raised as best he could, then lived his life on his terms. That’s the job, as tough as it might be to deal with. That recognition that your kids won’t need you, eventually, the way that they do when they’re young.

I’ve thought about my own eventual obsolescense a lot this week, a week when I got a text that said “there are a lot of calls for ‘dada’ tonight”. When there have been boxes of Legos dropped into my lap as an invitation to play. When there has been crying and holding out of books toward me at bedtime.

And I think, someday, Jack, you can go fight super-powered magic vegan ninjas and not tell me about it. I’ll be proud of you. But don’t do it tomorrow. Because I’m not ready.