My Son. The Whys Guy.

If Jack were Fox Mulder, this would read, "I want to believe, but can't until I ask you 'why' 23 times."

We have entered the Era of Endless Question. The Age of “Why?”

I appreciate the question. Blind faith has never worked that well for me. A small bag of skepticism is always a good thing to carry around in your backpack.

But my God, it’s like we’re raising Fox Mulder.

So far, the questions have been relatively easy.

I have told Jack why the Hulk is green (“Gamma radiation and anger, mostly.”), why Reid is a little guy (“Because that’s the way everyone comes out.”), why he has to eat his vegetables (“Because otherwise, you will get rickets and scurvy.”), why the Joker is a bad guy (“Because some people are just bad, buddy. That’s the choice they make.”), why he has to go to bed (“Because if you don’t go to sleep, you might lose your marbles.”) and why he can’t get out of bed yet (“Because it’s not even six in the morning.”).

We’ve had our sad questions, too. About why we can’t see Grandmommy anymore. (“Because she is with God now.”).

A couple of weeks ago, Jack did something that merited punishment, a send-to-your-room offense of some kind that I can’t remember. He started crying, badly, and also needed a diaper change. I had him on the changing table while he’s melting down and he says, “Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not happy with you.”

“You’re not going to hit me, are you?”

It stopped me like a slap, because I immediately start thinking, where did he hear this? Does one of his teachers hit him at school? Did he see some Dad punch his kid?

“No, buddy. I would never hit you.”

“Why?” He stood there, snuffling.

“Because I’m your Daddy. And Daddies don’t hit.”

I didn’t mind telling him that answer, again and again, until I was sure he would believe me enough to never ask it again.

There is much to be learned, seeing the world with fresh eyes.

But bringing a three year-old’s curiosity to every conversation is the only proven way to drive someone insane. Try this at home. Tell your story in comments.

“I could really use a drink.”

“Why?”

“Long day. An endless client meeting. Some guy ate three hard boiled eggs right next to me on the train ride home. You know how I feel about hard boiled eggs.”

“Why?”

“They’re gross. They smell like farts.”

“Why?”

“How do I know? Because they come out of a chicken’s ass.”

“Why?”

*pulls out smartphone* “Because that’s how chickens ovulate or something. I don’t know.” *taps glass* *opens Google*

“Why?”

“Why what? Why do chickens ovulate or why do I now know? Chickens ovulate that way because they do. I don’t know because I never had chickens.”

“Why?”

*fingernails press into fists, leaving small half moon marks* “Because I grew up in the city. We didn’t have chickens.”

“Why?”

“Because the enormous rats that roamed the streets ate them all.”

“Why?”

“It was God’s will.”

“Why?”

“I have no idea. He is a mystery.”

  13 comments for “My Son. The Whys Guy.

  1. Myrtle
    April 23, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Great blog. Thanks for sharing these with us. Looking forward for more interesting post.
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  2. Krysta
    April 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    A very nice post. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
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  3. Krizza
    April 23, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    Nice sharing of story..I really appreciate thanks for sharing with us..
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  4. Liz
    April 25, 2012 at 2:01 am

    My kid did that too. He is a smart kid, he always asked. Thanks for sharing these with us.
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  5. Charissa
    April 25, 2012 at 3:54 am

    My kid always ask why’s too. And it made my head aching. Thanks for letting me join the conversation.
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  6. April 26, 2012 at 10:11 am

    I think they are just very curious and they much to learn hence all the why’s
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  7. Sarah
    May 1, 2012 at 6:02 am

    Thanks for sharing such a cute story. My son is 4 and it’s always ‘why?’ and ‘how?’ I struggle sometimes as he questions the most bizarre things that I don’t even know the answers to.
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  8. May 3, 2012 at 8:44 am

    It is natural. I too had so many Whys about those freakin aliens, until now!
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  9. tinafreysd
    May 4, 2012 at 9:12 pm

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  10. Giselle
    May 6, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Actually, a lot of people especially the kids are always asking whys and hows and even whats.. I am already used to answering them always..
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  11. Matt
    May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Wiliam’s been doing the why thing for over a year now, and I too really enjoy it. He makes me think about things every day. We stop asking why way to early in life and just start accepting. Good post!

  12. May 9, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    This is very interesting blog and for sure, we will be happy to read it. Thanks that you shared. I love this link up… Good thing you post such valuable information like this.
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  13. October 9, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Very well written article. It will be helpful to everyone who usess it, including yours truly :). Keep up the good work – i will definitely read more posts.

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