Alan Kercinik has been a Chicagoan his whole life and a dad since 2009. He finds it easy to relate to his two boys, since he still likes most things from his childhood. All opinions here are his own, to the relief of his wife, employer, family and majority of his friends.
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Over the past few days, there’s been this vortex of horrible.
Dina Lohan was on the Today Show, defending her parenting and her daughter. Paris Hilton got arrested and took a mug shot that looks better than most people’s wedding pictures. And the New Jersey housewives reunited, four grown women who act like botoxed six-year olds hopped up on sugar, throwing tantrums and f-bombs.
On the plus side, David Hasselhoff and The Situation will be on the new season of Dancing with the Stars.
Right now, Jack is young enough that my responsibilities are simple and, for the most part, fun. Feeding him. Dressing him. Playing trains, his current obsession. Reading to him and teaching him words. I’m not sharing any life lessons. (I could. But I think he’d just laugh and run away.) My job will get harder. I know that. It’s what I signed up for.
But what kills me is seeing people who should be ignored and scorned be celebrated and emulated.
And whenever I hear someone public who has made their share of mistakes and bad choices, say, “I’m not a role model,” as some kind of excuse, a smug justification for acting like an ass, it makes me want to get in their faces and shake them. You’re right, I want to scream, you aren’t a role model.
But shouldn’t you aspire to be?
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Everyone has the right to live their lives however they want, with one condition. You can’t hurt anyone but yourself. This crap stew of petty, viscous, vain, vapid turds, they can do whatever they want to do with themselves. If you want to watch them do it, that’s your choice, too.
But their very public performances, they kind of make me sick. Because the whole sorry mess sends a message. That this behavior, it gets you places. That, I think, hurts everyone.
Maybe I’m turning into the kind of old man who will yell at you from my porch if you step on my lawn. But my time, to be a primary influence in Jack’s life, it won’t last very much longer. There will be teachers and friends and all kinds of things he’ll read and see and experience on his own.
One of the reasons I like superhero comic books, still, is because they have a coda. One man can make a difference. That one man may wear his underpants on the outside and fly, but still.
I like to believe that. That one good example can create a ripple effect. It’s part of our American myth, the self-made individualist who does the right thing. I want to believe that. To believe in it.
I’ll be an example, as best I can, with what I have to work with. But I at least want a fair fight, because I don’t think I can take on an entire culture.
So, to all the train wrecks out there, polluting the air waves. Go ahead and keep doing what you’re doing. But could you at least gain the slightest bit of self-consciousness and deport yourselves? Or retire from public life? Something?
But I guess if you were willing or able to do that, well, then I wouldn’t have to write this post in the first place.
5 comments
Pop says:
August 31, 2010 at 1:32 pm (UTC -5 )
The worst part is, there’s no such thing as 15 minutes of fame anymore. With Google and YouTube, trainwrecks live on and won’t seem to die. Even the videos that are most viewed seem to celebrate ignorance, stupidity, and FAILs. It’s definitely a challenging time to be a parent.
Lance cake says:
August 31, 2010 at 1:34 pm (UTC -5 )
Kids are smarter than we were. Well, at least mine are. For example, yesterday my wife was taken back by our 14 year old learning about evolution in her science class. My wife is more liberal than I am but her point was, she should have been told about the curriculum and they should offer creationism or intelligent design as a course of study. The whole discussion was about to escalate when our daughter said “mom, I’ve already learned it, and it’s no big deal. I know what God did and I can figure it all out.” Example number two, I picked my teenaged daughter up from volleyball practice. We are flipping the radio around and the PussyCat Dolls song, Dontcha is playing. The line “Dontcha want her to be a freak like me” happened and I turned the radio. My daughter smiled, and said “you know that was unnecessary”.
I don’t worry about my parenting in the age of Paris and Lindsay. I worry about everythinga nd everybody else though.
Lance
Alan Kercinik says:
August 31, 2010 at 2:56 pm (UTC -5 )
You would think that, with all this technology around us, it would inspire people to act a little bit better than a little bit worse. Thanks for reading.
Alan Kercinik says:
August 31, 2010 at 2:59 pm (UTC -5 )
Your daughter sounds like a smart kid. And I hear you … clearly there are more serious threats to their well-being to think about. But I just worry that the celebration of jack-assery will make everything a whole lot harder.
And I hope your daughter knows you turned Pussycat Dolls as much on musical principal as on lyrical content.
Jenny C says:
September 1, 2010 at 10:30 am (UTC -5 )
love this!
….. we should all aspire to be the best we can everyday …. you never know who is watching!