Alan Kercinik has been a Chicagoan his whole life and a dad since 2009. He finds it easy to relate to his two boys, since he still likes most things from his childhood. All opinions here are his own, to the relief of his wife, employer, family and majority of his friends.
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The boy has been a pretty good sleeper since he was about six weeks old. But all things must come to an end. The past couple of weeks has been this: no matter how tired he is, he cries before falling asleep. I could carry a dead-to-the-world Jack up to his room and lay him down as gentle as a feather landing on a pillow.
Doesn’t matter. He’ll sit up and start crying. Sometimes it’s thirty seconds. Sometimes it’s half an hour. Which has led us to believe it has nothing to do with whether he is tired or not.
Inspired by the seven stages of grief, made popular thanks to Psychology 101 courses at colleges across the country, here are my seven stages of separation anxiety for the coping parent:
- Awe. He’s crying. Because he wants to hang out with me.
- Disbelief. He’s crying because he wants to hang out with me?!
- Worry. He’s crying like a high school sophomore going through his first break-up. Should I get him? Should I leave him be? Should I go into his room and tell him everything is fine?
- Irritation. What’s he crying about? He’s going to see me in the morning. He sees me every morning. What’s wrong with this kid? Am I raising a wimp?
- Guilt. Why did I think that? I can be such an asshole.
- Acceptance and Pride. Another stage of development. My little boy is growing up!
- Comprehension and Terror. Another stage of development. My little boy is growing up.
5 comments
2 pings
Lisa Hanneman says:
June 17, 2010 at 2:38 pm (UTC -5 )
LOVE it… Because, as you know, we've had an on-and-off again bedtime fighter on our hands. Just consider this the beginning of the many ways Jack is going to play with your emotions over the years.
Alan Kercinik says:
June 17, 2010 at 4:30 pm (UTC -5 )
There is nothing I love more than emotional blackmail.
abattylife says:
June 17, 2010 at 6:22 pm (UTC -5 )
Genius! Love the post Alan. Can't say I can relate, but still enjoyed reading.
Alan says:
June 17, 2010 at 6:51 pm (UTC -5 )
You’d be surprised at how relevant separation anxiety is to a new marriage, Liz.
Alan Kercinik says:
June 17, 2010 at 11:55 pm (UTC -5 )
You'd be surprised at how relevant separation anxiety is to a new marriage, Liz.
Day 2 Inbox Zero | Just in the Middle says:
January 7, 2011 at 1:12 am (UTC -5 )
[...] reset the timer for another 30 minutes. Starting to get anxious again and am going through some stages of separation anxiety with e-mail. Like an apple pie in the oven, I want to check it every 5 minutes to see if it is [...]
Day 3 Inbox Zero | Just in the Middle says:
January 10, 2011 at 2:05 am (UTC -5 )
[...] to wait until the inventory stacks up a little more. There are more important things to do. My stages of separation anxiety with e-mail are starting to dissapate. E-mail used to be like the Slap Chop. One slap you have [...]