Best Ten Books I Didn’t Read in 2009

It’s the end of the year and the end of a decade, which means the slow, drunken descent into the holidays has officially begun and the only thing our turkey-drugged brains can handle is reading endless lists of lists. The best-gifts-for-under-6-dollars-for-that-person-you-don’t-like-that-much list. The best reality shows starring a former huge star. And the best book lists.

The New Yorker has theirs, which have been “briefly noted”, as if the staff of The New Yorker barely has the time to read books, much less comment on them. Entertainment Weekly has theirs, a list of books to give others that is based more on aesthetics than content. The New York Times has two lists — 100 Notable Books and 10 Best Books – sort of like gold and silver medal awards. (To me, any book that isn’t about vampires or zombies is notable at this point.)

On one hand, I like these lists. It gives me more to add to my personal and long-running “want to read” list.

On the other, they annoy the crap out of me. All this tagging and catalouging and critiquing. It gets tiring. Especially now, when you’re given the opportunity to rate or like or comment upon everything and everyone. (And really, do you care if I like your status update?)

There’s this whiff of judgement, in these lists. “Here are books you’ve surely not read, ignoramus. Now go back to drooling into your bag of Cheetos.” What are the criteria for these lists? Is it the writing? The story? The characterization? Interpreting art is subjective. But sometimes those judging art seem a little bit like show-offs.

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So, here’s my end of year list, a batch of reportedly great books that I’ve not read, in 2009 or any other year.

I’m not celebrating ignorance. I like to try a little bit of everything instead of binging only on best-of lists. To me, that’s kind of the point of reading. If it calls to you, if it can affect you, then have at it.

My list of ten, in no particular order:

1. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: I’d heard it’s the female version of Catcher in the Rye. That is a lie. I read twenty-five pages and wanted to kill myself.
2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.
3. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. I feel like I’ve already read it ten times.
4. I’ll count this as one big book: I’ve never read a word written by Toni Morrison.
5. On the Road by Jack Kerouac.
6. The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. That whole Oprah thing really turned me off. (Kidding.)
7. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy.
8. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.
9. Again, one big book. No Virginia Woolfe, though I did enjoy The Hours.
10. Rabbit, Run by John Updike. Again, I tried. Oh, how I tried.

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Like all lists, this is incomplete. After I wrote these ten, I realized I’d add Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. But thought I’d go with the first-ten instinct on this. (This impulse is muted by this post script, I realize, but I’m a complicated guy.)

So, what about you? What’s your one favorite book of 2009? Or one you’ve always felt like you “should” read, but haven’t gotten to? No judgements. Just looking for more books for my list.